If you're feeling sad and lonely, there's a service I can render

Call me!

Hey there. Long time no see. I just haven’t had much newsletter worthy news (because I am, in fits and starts, working on making a novel and a novella so that maybe someday I will have more newsletter worthy news to share with you).

Except—I went and made some newsletter worthy news for myself! I’m starting a sex scene consulting service!

[[ man, I tried to find a good gif to put here for a long time but…no dice.]]

This is something I’ve joked about doing for a while, but I finally figured WHAT THE HECK, this actually seems like a service people might want/need. Sex scenes can be scary! They’re uniquely vulnerable endeavors for a lot of writers. They’re also one of my favorite things to write in all of fictionland, and I think I’m pretty fucking (😹) good at them.

So here’s the deal: for $75 I will read any sex scene of 1,500 words/5 pages double spaced. I will give you line notes. I will give you end notes. I will help you make it physically possible, emotionally resonant, titillating or horrifying or whatever adjective you’re hoping to convey, and I can even help it MOVE THE PLOT FORWARD! (What a tired old saw, and yet…I did once write a plot-critical beej. I have the skills necessary for the task.)

Hire me for yourself! Hire me for your friends! I am here to help you write the spicy scenes of your dreams. Let’s get busy. 😉